David Wilkerson - 1931-2011

From a friends' facebook post: Rev. Wilkerson, author of "The Cross and the Switchblade," founder of Teen Challenge and the Times Square Church, Manhattan, was killed in a head-on collision yesterday. This link is to his blog and may be the last words he wrote. "Blessed are those that do believe and have not seen" (John 20:29). Yes. He can now add, and "Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord.." (Revelation 14:13) David Wilkerson Today

I am grieving the death of this man, a man that to my knowledge I had never met. (I met a lot of people over the years while working at the Young Life International Service Center, so it is possible I met him years and years ago and just don't remember.) I have read his book, The Cross and the Switchblade, I've listened to some of his sermons on YouTube and I've read parts of his blog over the past 2 or 3 years. And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that this man prayed for America. Agonized and shed many tears for the sin of America. He prophecied a coming judegement, America's Last Call, which is available to read online, but cannot be printed (it must be purchased from World Challege to print it unfortunately). I highly recommend reading it.

I wonder, who will step forward to stand in the gap? Who will take his place, praying for America? Praying for the church? Agonizing over the sin so prevelant around us?

Yes, a man I never met - and I mourn his passing. Mourn because I suddenly feel a cold wind of exposure that was not there before.

Who will stand in his place? Lord, please raise someone up! We need another Daniel! We need another Nehemiah! We need another David Wilkerson!

Sad News

We just received an email from our Country Director in Kiev. His father passed away today. Jon and his family will be leaving within a few hours to head home for the funeral. Such a difficult time for them.

I am struck anew at how "fortunate" I am. I'm 57 years old and both of my parents are still alive and doing well. Oh, they each have had medical problems over the past couple of years, but all in all they are doing well. Both are in their mid-70's. Having a 57 year old daughter in your mid-70's is what happens when you get married at 16 and 17 and have a baby 9 months later!

I've always known I would grow old with my parents, if we 3 should live that long.

Mel's father is still living, and as far as we know, he also is healthy. A year older than my dad, I think he's actually in better shape than my dad.

So, I thank God tonight for my mom and dad and for Mel's dad and step-mother (who is just 7 years older than me). I thank God they are all Believers in Christ Jesus (as was Jon's father).

And we pray for Jon and Tracy and their children tonight and in the days to come.

Difficult Praying

Prayer. Mel and I were talking about prayer this morning while I was working on my latest woven scarf. I have a feeling that I don't have the same view of praying that many other people have. I've written here before that it bothers me that so often we pray that God will make someone we care about well, or the friend or relative of someone we know, or someone we heard about on tv or the news, and on it goes. It's like it's become God's job: to make people well. Like we boss Him around and tell Him what to do.

There is another issue that is bothering me right now, too, about how we sometimes pray.

I want very much for both of my sons to marry, and to marry well. To have happy marriages. To have Godly wives. To raise Godly children. To be content in that aspect of life.

But...

Neither one of them are married at this point. So - how should I pray?

I already pray for their future spouses in general ways. But that is future. This is now.

I listened to someone pray the other day and again heard the phrase - bring Godly spouses for the singles in our church. And I thought - wait a minute! What if they are destined to never marry? Then what? Do we keep praying that God will bring Godly spouses simply because underneath everything we think and say about "God's will for our lives", we truly believe that unless we are married, we have a second rate life? Ei yi yi. How horrible! I've known too many happily single people to ever believe that is true. Older single people who have wonderful lives, busy, adventurous, fruitful in ministries, happy. Yet, if all we ever pray for them is an order for God to bring them spouses and then they can have Godly children, we are in essence saying that God has given them second best and we know what is better for them than He does. I've known too many unhappily married people to think marriage is always the best for everyone.

Why don't we pray that God will make our singles content where they are for the time period they are in, and if it be God's will, for God to please bring them Godly spouses? If marriage is held up to them as the end all and be all (is that how that phrase is said?), then they will be discontent and lose the blessings God is giving them in their singleness. In unhappiness at being single, they could so easily fall into sexual sin of one kind or another, desperately searching for a spouse.

From now on I am praying - God, please help our singles to be happy and content where they are now in life, and if it will bring more glory to You, please bring them Godly spouses. (And for my sons as well. Make them content where they are, but please bring them Godly wives. :-) ).

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

The second thing I've been thinking about is praying for healing. A person we know has been at death's door now for quite some time. It's like she's just hanging there on the edge of death, suffering incredible pain all the while. People pray and ask for God to heal her. I think to myself - if God heals her now, she will only have to go through this whole dying process again! No one lives forever, not even Lazarus did after Jesus raised him from the dead. I do not want to pray that this woman will die - NO!!! That is not my point at all. I have begun praying that God will help her to die well, to die with grace, bringing Him glory throughout the whole process. The funny (not haha kind of funny) thing is - now it looks like she may have treatments of some kind that could maybe bring her back to some sort of better health. I think to myself - so close to Paradise, and snatched away, only to look forward to the dying process all over again.

Would I want to do that? Am I so afraid of dying, something that we ALL must go through, that I am willing to go through all of whatever it is before the actual step across the threshold, all of that over again? The pain, the suffering? Is living better than what is ahead of me? Or is it just the fear of the unknown that would cause me to cling to physical life with every ounce of strength and every known healing practice?

I don't know. I pray for her, that whether she lives or dies, she will bring glory to God.

I have come to the point where I don't know how to pray for specific groups of people. Singles. The ill. The dying.

No, I don't know how to pray, other than - Father, what ever brings glory to YOU. And - help us all to submit to your will.

Romans 8:26,27 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God."

Circles and Tunnels and Asps - Oh My!

I like YouTube. Yes, I do. Over the past couple of weeks I've watched some documentaries.

The first one was on Cleopatra. I've also read a really good book about her within the last couple of years. Fascinating woman. Amazing how much we think we know about her and how much we reall do NOT know about her. Very little archeological evidence for her life and death exists. Did she die by the bite of an asp? We do not know for sure.

A few days ago I downloaded a YouTube documentary on crop circles. Funny things, those crop circles and other shapes that appear overnight and sometimes within the matter of just a couple hours or so. I found the documentary very interesting. I'm going to look more into them as time permits. I do wonder, however, if there is a connection with all of the UFO sighting reports that come out of the UK, the crop circles, places like Stonehenge and the 'old religions'. For example - Ireland is known for it's leprechauns and faeries. The celts had their Merlin and assorted other mythical characters involved in magic. And of course the Druids were/are all over the UK. One of the things I did not know before is that these circles have been reported for almost 500 years, but the shear number now is amazing. One of the guys they interviewed had been to between 700 and 800 to study them. I thought they were a new thing. Some of the crop circles are obviously man-made. Others, however, are obviously NOT man-made - but who or what did make them? I have my opinions.

Last night I downloaded a BBC documentary on Near Death Experiences (NDE). Very, very interesting show. Gave me a lot of food for thought. At this point I don't have an opinion on the whole subject, just a ton of questions. It's interesting to me that everyone talks about that tunnel of light. I get a tunnel of light while I'm passing out. :-) :-) Not that I pass out very often! Twice in my life. Twice in 55+ years is not very often. But I DO remember those tunnels of light. heh heh

We've also watched a documentary on an ancient civilization in Peru, and a series on underwater cities (archeological, not construction of them), and I've watched some things on the Nasca lines in Peru (I'm not into the UFO stuff with that, but the true study of them is quite interesting - and there was even an article on them on FoxNews today).

So, that is part of why I haven't been writing very much. Another part is that I am in the "stressed out to the point I'm in denial" part of leaving here for 6 months back in the States. So much to do, so little time - let's watch something on YouTube! heh heh heh

Amazing Joy

Photos of Murdered German Bible School Students
Two German Bible School students were brutally murdered while volunteering at hospital in Yemen this month.

Anita G. and Rita S. were photographed earlier at the Brake Bible School in western Germany. Anita was photographed serving children in Malawi during a missions trip there in 2006.

from CBN News, Friday, June 19, 2009

*~*~*~*
What?? Amazing JOY?? Why in the world would I title a post about the murder of these two young women 'Amazing Joy'?

There are a couple of reasons.

Several years ago while Mel and I were living in the Wet Mountain Valley of Colorado, I had a wonderful experience. At the time Colorado was being inundated by people moving in from California. Everything was changing. I was born and raised in Colorado, as were my parents and grandparents. Suddenly here was this whole migration of people moving in. They had 'west coast values' - not mine, and usually not the values of anyone else I knew. They brought their brand of politics, lifestyle and even religion with them. They brought a drug problem to our little valley (oh, the valley already had an alcohol problem, for sure) and along with that, the influence of gangs. Things changed radically. Now, if you didn't live there day in and day out, you may not have seen the difference, but for those of us who did - it was fast and it was often painful in unexpected ways. I was in mourning for what was happening to my home. Houses springing up like mushrooms all over the place, prices increasing, and so forth.

One day while Mel and I were driving in to town I was talking to him about it all and how distressed I was seeing everything change and much being destroyed (you can't rebuild hills and regrow big trees that are gouged, cut down or totally removed for example). After a bit we lapsed into silence. I looked out the window at the Sangre de Cristo mountains on our left, and then out at the hay fields to our right. When I looked back to the north, I had one of the most treasured experiences I've ever had.

In a split second it was there and then it was gone. Then it was there again and just as quickly gone.

I sat stunned. Quiet. Wondering at what I had just seen.

I looked at Mel somewhat hesitantly and said, "Mel, I just saw the New Earth. For just a split second, there it was."

Mel was driving and he is used to me chattering away, wandering in my thoughts far and wide. He didn't say much, just indicated that he'd heard me. I often have wondered - what did he think at that point? Maybe I'm glad I don't know the answer to that! ha ha!

I started to explain what I'd seen. Even now it's very difficult because I saw the same geological formation that I've always seen while driving or riding down that road - only it was perfect, untainted by sin. I had no clear words to describe how it affected me - like an electric shock, like how a SweetTart tastes when you first bite into one... like pure, complete JOY filling every cell in my body, every thought in my head, creating in me a longing that is deep and desperate to BE THERE NOW.

I asked him - is this really possible? Did I really, truly actually SEE for those split seconds the New Earth that God will create for us after Christ's return? Am I going nuts?

And he reassured me that, no, I was not going nuts, and he didn't know what I had just experienced, but yes it was possible (maybe not probable, but definitely possible) that God had given me a vision, a foretaste of what is to come. And to myself I thought - maybe He gave it to me to help me not mourn so deeply, but to "set my mind on things above and not things on the earth."

I have remembered that instant sense of joy many times. Many times. I have thought about the New Earth and the New Heaven oh so very many times, wondering, and dreaming, and praising my God and Father for what He is going to provide for us.

Several years later, here in Kherson, one of the women in the church told us that she had died and been resuscitated 3 times. She was not a believer at the time this happened. She remembers clearly going to heaven and seeing flowers there. One single flower had hundreds of petals and each petal was a different color. She said she's never seen colors like that here on earth. She said she was told she wasn't supposed to be there yet and had to go back. This during communist times, happened to an unbeliever - BUT God had called her to be His before the foundation of the world - she was His already, she just didn't know it yet and was not yet prepared to enter heaven. She longs to return, but it isn't time yet.

I've been thinking a lot about death and dying, about the Second Coming of Christ, about living in the End Times. Lest someone think I'm just being morbid about it all - no, I've just been listening to a series of 80 sermons on The Revelation of Jesus Christ. Some I am relistening to because they are so good, they bring me such comfort and they make me think deeper thoughts than I would otherwise.

In one of the sermons from a passage in one of the last two chapters of The Revelation, Dr. Azurdia makes a statement that one of the things we will experience on the New Earth is JOY, real, deep Joy. And when I heard him say that, I thought of the vision God had given me, and began to weep with longing for the future.

So, I started out this post talking about two young German women who were recently martyred. The Revelation has much to say about martyrs, too - they play a big part in what happens in the future.

But for now, these two women, along with the three Turkish men martyred so viciously in 2007, and thousands of others like them (our Christians brothers and sisters of all nationalities, from all of history) - they live eternally in Amazing Joy.

Come Lord Jesus! Come!
Necati Aydin, Tilman Geske and Ugur Yuksel, (L to R)

When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. They called out in a loud voice, "How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?" Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and brothers who were to be killed as they had been was completed.
Revelation 6:9-11

The past few days have been full of news about death. More so than usual, it seems to me. Ed McMahon, Neda Soltan (Iran), Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson. All big names, all died within just a few days of each other.

I was especially struck by the death of Neda Soltan, but not for the reason the world is upset. No, what struck me with great sorrow was the headline: "I'm burning! I'm burning" - her last words before she passed into her eternal state.

I am making the assumption that she was a member of the dominant religion of that country. And if so, then she is burning eternally in hell. Her last words - were they expressing her passage from life into eternity, from this world into the burning fires of hell?

No one will ever know for sure this side of eternity. I've heard stories before, though, of unbelievers crying out about burning and hell and fire at the moment of death.

A beautiful young woman here on earth, but now? As far as humanly known, simply another soul spending eternity in hell fire.

Three other people died and made national and international news. The biggest news, is of course, the "untimely" death of Michael Jackson. I've never been an MJ fan, never. Oh, he might have been a cute kid, but as an adult I found him sickening. His dancing, while talented, was often obscene. He appeared to be mentally ill - always changing his physical appearance. He was accused of being a pedophile.

Yet, here on earth people worshipped him. I watched a couple of his music videos tonight just to get an idea of who this man was. 'Billy Jean' and 'Beat It' - as well as a FoxNews montage of some of his concerts. During those concerts they showed film of girls/women crying and actually being taken out by EMT's. My thoughts while watching that ran along the line of Jesus' words to the Pharisees: "You have your reward here on earth." But now? Again, it is very possible that he, too, burns for eternity.

This is serious stuff. I am not being light-hearted about this at all. No, in fact, the whole idea makes me shudder and feel a very deep, deep sorrow. So much talent these people had, yet - where are they now?

Life is so short. Fleeting. Like a vapor - here one second and gone the next. People are mourned for awhile and then forgotten.

We watched a special (with voice over so it was hard to get details) about Elvis Presley several weeks ago. Another tragic life, cut short by drugs and bad living. Another person who is remembered, yes, but less and less often and in another generation he, too, will be just a note in history.

How thankful I am that God has provided a way to have eternal life, through Jesus Christ, His Son. Oh, thank you, Father! Thank you once again that I am your child. Help me to stand firm in my faith.

The Rich Man and Lazarus
"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.

"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'

"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'

"He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'

"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'

" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'

"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "
Luke 16:19-31

Longing

Happy Anniversary my dear husband! I've written about our wedding before, 6/26/76. Wow! It's been 3 years since I wrote that. Where, oh where does time fly away to?

Mel is gone today, out with the other two pastors, visiting a young man who is unable to come to church this summer due to his job as a life guard. He works 7 days a week and only has a couple hours off a day. This is life here. IF you have a job, you work the hours they tell you to work - or you lose your job. There are no such things as unions here. Altho I am not a fan of unions in the States, they really need a union here at this time in history.

It is rumbling and grumbling outside. The temp is 85 degrees F and it is humid. The sky is dark gray and it rained earlier. I remember rain cooling down the temperature in Colorado. In fact, it can get down right cold after a rainstorm (usually accompanied by hail). Here - nope. It just gets muggy.

So Mel is out on our anniversary. Out in the kind of weather he hates most. He would rather be in sub-zero temperatures, snow and blizzards than out in this.

Such is life.

I was listening to another sermon by Arthur Azurdia last night on The Revelation. I think it was in the last chapter. As he preached I realized again how much I long for heaven, for the return of Jesus Christ, for this world to be over and done with. How wonderful it will be when there is no more sickness (I'm better, but not 100% yet), no more uncomfortable weather (hot or cold), no more death (two famous deaths yesterday, Jackson and Fawcett), no more falling away from the faith (our dear pastor friend in another city), no more sin (me, I am full of sin continually).

Oh Lord Jesus, come quickly!!

"The Dying Time"

April 6, 2006

There was a funeral in the podyezhd next door this morning. I only noticed it because I stepped out on the balcony to bring in a drying shirt that was flapping against the bars in the strong breeze. I glanced down between the bars of the railing to the left, and there was a small group of people gathered together. A table, covered by a white cloth, was set out on the sidewalk in front of the door to the stair well. On the table were several items of food and a couple flowers. In front of the table, on the sidewalk between our building and the street, an open casket was balanced on two stools. It was just a little too far away for me to be able to see who was in the casket, but it looked like a woman. I have met several people who live in the entrance next door, so it may have been one of my acquaintances. Or, it could have been an old babushka I’ve never seen. As I stood watching for a few minutes, a car drove up and stopped in front of that podyezhd. The passenger door opened and a Ukrainian Orthodox priest got out. He was dressed in black robes and carried an incense holder on a chain and a Bible. He stepped up to the small group of people gathered there and began the funeral service. I turned and came back into the apartment.

Death in Ukraine is very “in your face.” In the States we hide death. Oh, don’t get me wrong! We watch “death” all the time in our movies and television programs, we read about it in books and stories, and we even have songs about people dying. But we hide “real death.” We do our best to ignore the fact that someday we will die – I will die, my husband will die, my children will die and so forth and so on. We use words like “pass away” and “gone to a better place” and even slang terms like “kick the bucket.” But how often do we hear the phrase – “XXX died yesterday.”

When Mel was pastoring the church out at Peyton, in the space of just one year we had several deaths in the community, a community of just 300-400 people. Mel officiated at nine funerals. Two of them were emotionally difficult for us as they were close friends of ours in the community – one death by a terrible truck accident and the other by a mysterious illness that turned out to be cancer of the blood vessels. One funeral was for a suicide and another was a murder victim. One of the saddest was the death of a newborn baby, the second newborn that young family had lost in two years. We listed them all out at the end of the year and realized that none of the deaths had been of ‘natural causes’ or simple old age.

I have only been with one person when they died, and that was my dear friend who died of cancer of the blood vessels. People talk of how ugly death is – and it is ugly. It is not the state we were created for. Our bodies were created to live, and to live fully and eternally. Death is truly our enemy.

Yet in another way, death is wonderful – death for a Believer in Christ. A passing from this sinful world into His presence, leaving the imperfect for the perfect. How thankful I am that in Christ Jesus I have that hope of death not being the end of all there is, but of knowing that it is just the passageway into life eternal.

The funeral is over now. Everyone has gone to the cemetery. After internment, the friends and relatives will probably go some place and eat a meal together.

It is a cold spring day. I was told by one of our young friends that spring is known as “the dying time.” I thought that odd, because I’ve always thought of spring as being the time of new life, new beginnings (baby chicks peeping, daffodils and tulips poking their way up out of the earth to burst into glorious bloom, little lambs frolicking in fresh green fields….). She explained. The winters are so difficult – bone chilling cold with little heat, and often there is hunger such as we in America have never known. Many people have the physical reserves to make it through the darkest part of the year, and then die when spring arrives.

I find that very sad.