The wonderful thing about having a blog is that I can write about whatever I want to write about. This blog, as I've said before, is titled My Thoughts because that's what it is - my thoughts. It's not about what we do here in Ukraine, it's not a weaving blog, or knitting blog, or health blog or any other sort of specific blog. It's what I think about, what I'm doing with my hands, what I think OF things and so forth. If people don't like it, they don't have to read it. Kind of a win-win situation. :-) It's a blog for me, for my own pleasure. I love it!
I really missed writing while we were in the States. So much was happening all the time and I had very little alone time to write. I missed being able to process things in my mind through my fingers. I am so thankful I can do this.
I just turned off my sunshine lamp and I feel better already this morning. The past couple of days have been very difficult for me. So the sunshine lamp does help. That and the fact that Melinda asked me if I was ok last night. She told me she could tell that I'm not doing very well coming back this time. I was very surprised, to tell the truth. I so very often am the person who is listening to others. I talk, I engage in conversation - yes! But (and I swear this is true) very seldom do people want to hear about what is going on inside of me and when I do express some of it, quite often I am shot down, shut down, "corrected" (you shouldn't feel/think/act that way - but that is 'your opinion' and I do) or ignored. Melinda listened last night - for awhile, then she got up and messed around with her cats in the other room for awhile - but she came back and listened some more. I cannot begin to express what that meant to me. Mel listens to me, too. And he listened last night as well.
It is not easy living in two worlds. I have ties at home in the States that bind very closely. I have children - IN THE STATES. I have parents IN THE STATES. I have grandchildren IN THE STATES. I have friends IN THE STATES. I have posessions IN THE STATES. I can speak freely in my own mother tongue, I can hear conversations around me and understand them 100% (usually!) IN THE STATES. None of these things are true here (including the friends one - there are friend acquaintances and then there are friends you can share your heart with and they with you without judgement on either side). Here - I have MEL. And I give up all those things to follow my husband whom I love very much.
There is, of course, the spiritual side of all this, too. If Mel is called to Ukraine, then I am called to Ukraine. Shoot - I'm the one who wanted to come here first after all! Sometimes I think that is very funny. I must be where God wants me to be. I need to be where God wants me to be. I want to be where God wants me to be. That does not mean it's going to be easy.
Part of it is also my personality type. I know that, and I've tried to work it to my advantage in this. I love to learn new things. I like a lot of variety, even tho I want some things to always be the same. I keep trying to find new things here in Kherson. I keep looking for the beauty around me - I know it's there. In the States (Colorado) beauty is big and awesome. Here I find it in a flower blossom, or the moss on the tree outside the window or the bird that sat on the window sill and looked at me for a few moments.
I'd really like to go live in Scotland for awhile. Really.
Considering what we do, people are not high on my list of things that interest me. I am an introvert and have become more introverted simply because I am forced to be extroverted so much of the time. I need time to myself, time to be alone, time like right now when I can process. And I need to process. People make me so tired, even when I am enjoying being around them. One on one is fine, but more than that and I quickly run out of energy and have to tap the reserves. After time in a large group setting it can take me several days to get my energy level back up, even though I totally enjoyed whatever was going on in the group setting.
Maybe I should drink more coffee.......
So, I used my sunshine lamp this morning and we will see how the day progresses. I plan to get out the college geology course I bought and brought and start studying geology. I'm very interested in geology. Actually I would love to go back to Utah and look at some incredible geology..... Instead I will pull up some photos and look at them here on the computer and remember when I was there. And I will get out my DVD's and books and study it a bit.
And get my mind off myself for awhile.
Showing posts with label introvert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label introvert. Show all posts
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Busy Days
May 30, 2006
Life has become very busy this past week. We hired a young man in the church to come and paint the bars on our balcony. I warned him that it would take at least 3 or 4 days to complete (and I was thinking that was not realistic). It’s kind of funny to watch people here react to my ideas of how things will go. He said sure, he’d be willing to paint them and kind of gave me the “3 or 4 days to paint the bars on a balcony? Ha! I’ll do it in way less than that!” look. For some reason – maybe because I’m a woman and I’m not supposed to know these things – I get this response often. Well, Kolya has been here 4 days and he finished painting the “anti-corrosive,” or primer yesterday. He hasn’t worked a full 8 hours each day – it’s too hot and the paint fumes are too much. But he has put in some long hours out there and he seems to be a hard worker. I checked this morning just to see how it all looks (gray). I know from personal experience that the pattern in the bars is complicated enough that it is easy to miss parts – the top of this bar, the side of that one, or the bottom of another. That’s what I get for having such a pretty security cage installed lo these many moons ago, when we first moved in here (can it truly be 7+ years???!!!)
Mel and I are late night people, which means we are also late morning people. We asked Kolya to show up no earlier than 10:00 am (I know that makes it the hottest part of the day to work, but……). He showed up yesterday at 9:30 and I was still asleep, arriving so early because he wanted to show us his photo album (he is a very homesick young man right now). We had been up way past 1:00 am the night before because:
Dave is here again. Dave is a former short term team mate, now back in the States attending seminary. He arrived about a week ago and will be here another several days. He’s staying in our “office” flat on the first floor. And because his ‘bedroom’ is just two floors below us, he is able to stay late – it’s a very short commute home. Ha! Sunday night he and I played two rousing games of cribbage, which I won, and it was great. Not because I won – that was just the icing on the cake for me. No, it was wonderful because I was raised in a family that liked to play games (Candy Land when we were little, Life, Parcheesi, Scrabble, Pinochle, checkers, Chinese checkers, etc.). Mel has never been a game player – he just doesn’t enjoy it at all. So, having Dave here, willing to play with me has been very fun for me. I’ll willingly stay up till all hours of the morning playing cribbage. Unfortunately, the rest of the world does not live on the late night, late morning schedule….
Last night we had guests – Ira and Melinda came for my special “Ukrainian spaghetti.” This spaghetti recipe consists of throwing fried farsh (a ground beef and pork mixture) into a pot with chopped cabbage, grated carrots, grated beets, frozen spinach (can’t buy fresh here), chopped peppers and about a liter of tomato juice, a handful of dried oregano, a bay leaf and some basil – let it simmer until the cabbage is cooked and yum, yum! I don’t know why, but I try making it like that in the States and it’s just not as tasty. I think it has something to do with the tomato juice here, or maybe the farsh…. Whatever. I served spaghetti, made garlic bread and for dessert a homemade potato starch vanilla pudding topped with real maple syrup from Canada, which Denis brought me. Melinda brought my favorite Ukrainian Roshen chocolates and some waffle cookies. It was a feast.
Ira told us a lot about her trip to the States and then showed us photos. Dave came up, made himself some dinner with the left-overs. My computer started acting up – wouldn’t show Ira’s videos. Sigh. I think we need a new fan – it gets really hot and then slows way down. So, Ira and I spent some time trying to fix it, or figure out what was going on. She majored in computer science, so was able to show me some tricks on how to get it to work faster (YEA!). But, we finally gave up, with her instructing us on where to take it to get the fan replaced.
It was good to hear about her trip. I think I still have a lot of questions for her, but those will come in time. I’m thrilled that she was able to go to Texas this time, which is the closest she’s been to “my culture” in the States. Ok, ok – I hear all my Colorado family and friends screaming at me – Texas culture is close to Colorado culture?? AAAAIIIIIIHHHHH – no way!! The only good Texan is one on his way out of Colorado, etc. etc. and so forth and so on. (Sorry Lisa!) (But I love cowboys – yes, I do! No matter what state they come from!).
Ira and Melinda left – Dave stayed, talking to Mel and me for another hour or more – and then he got out his cribbage board, which he had conveniently brought upstairs. Ha ha! This time, he beat me soundly.
Today I have my Russian lesson, and tomorrow Kolya will be back to start putting color on the bars, so I can have my pretty balcony again. Our neighbor upstairs asked him how long it was going to take before he finished painting – I think they are sick of the smell of this paint, as am I. I hope they will be patient just a couple more days – the next step will go a lot faster. But I will be really glad when it’s finished – the need to have them painted like this has been weighing on me for almost three years!
I am very much an introvert and need my time alone each day. Having someone here from the time I wake up until just a couple hours before we go to bed can be very difficult for me after a couple days. Yet - - it has been so good to have Dave here again, to have Ira home, to have Melinda over and to have the bars painted. Plus, the time Mel and I have spent talking to Kolya has been very good – when we can get him to speak in his simple Russian! He’s from western Ukraine and is very nationalist – the first day he told us we need to learn Ukrainian. When I asked him to speak in Russian because we don’t understand Ukrainian, he replied, “But I am a Ukrainian man!” I understand the sentiments – but oh, it is exhausting to try and cipher out the Russian when it’s all mixed up with Ukrainian.
We are expecting another guest today – our Denis. Denis was born and raised here in Kherson but moved to Canada a few years ago. He was Mel’s first Russian tutor. He came back a few days ago to visit his family and has been over to see us a couple times. Sunday night his girlfriend arrived from Canada and he plans to bring her over so we can meet her as well. I’m looking forward to it. Denis is 30 now and we can see such a change in him, a positive change, as he has grown up and matured.
So, our life has been very busy over the past week. Busy in an interesting way. Lots of visitors, lots of people in and out. A lot of work accomplished. Good food eaten. Laughter. Concerns shared. Life shared.
I enjoy these days.
Life has become very busy this past week. We hired a young man in the church to come and paint the bars on our balcony. I warned him that it would take at least 3 or 4 days to complete (and I was thinking that was not realistic). It’s kind of funny to watch people here react to my ideas of how things will go. He said sure, he’d be willing to paint them and kind of gave me the “3 or 4 days to paint the bars on a balcony? Ha! I’ll do it in way less than that!” look. For some reason – maybe because I’m a woman and I’m not supposed to know these things – I get this response often. Well, Kolya has been here 4 days and he finished painting the “anti-corrosive,” or primer yesterday. He hasn’t worked a full 8 hours each day – it’s too hot and the paint fumes are too much. But he has put in some long hours out there and he seems to be a hard worker. I checked this morning just to see how it all looks (gray). I know from personal experience that the pattern in the bars is complicated enough that it is easy to miss parts – the top of this bar, the side of that one, or the bottom of another. That’s what I get for having such a pretty security cage installed lo these many moons ago, when we first moved in here (can it truly be 7+ years???!!!)
Mel and I are late night people, which means we are also late morning people. We asked Kolya to show up no earlier than 10:00 am (I know that makes it the hottest part of the day to work, but……). He showed up yesterday at 9:30 and I was still asleep, arriving so early because he wanted to show us his photo album (he is a very homesick young man right now). We had been up way past 1:00 am the night before because:
Dave is here again. Dave is a former short term team mate, now back in the States attending seminary. He arrived about a week ago and will be here another several days. He’s staying in our “office” flat on the first floor. And because his ‘bedroom’ is just two floors below us, he is able to stay late – it’s a very short commute home. Ha! Sunday night he and I played two rousing games of cribbage, which I won, and it was great. Not because I won – that was just the icing on the cake for me. No, it was wonderful because I was raised in a family that liked to play games (Candy Land when we were little, Life, Parcheesi, Scrabble, Pinochle, checkers, Chinese checkers, etc.). Mel has never been a game player – he just doesn’t enjoy it at all. So, having Dave here, willing to play with me has been very fun for me. I’ll willingly stay up till all hours of the morning playing cribbage. Unfortunately, the rest of the world does not live on the late night, late morning schedule….
Last night we had guests – Ira and Melinda came for my special “Ukrainian spaghetti.” This spaghetti recipe consists of throwing fried farsh (a ground beef and pork mixture) into a pot with chopped cabbage, grated carrots, grated beets, frozen spinach (can’t buy fresh here), chopped peppers and about a liter of tomato juice, a handful of dried oregano, a bay leaf and some basil – let it simmer until the cabbage is cooked and yum, yum! I don’t know why, but I try making it like that in the States and it’s just not as tasty. I think it has something to do with the tomato juice here, or maybe the farsh…. Whatever. I served spaghetti, made garlic bread and for dessert a homemade potato starch vanilla pudding topped with real maple syrup from Canada, which Denis brought me. Melinda brought my favorite Ukrainian Roshen chocolates and some waffle cookies. It was a feast.
Ira told us a lot about her trip to the States and then showed us photos. Dave came up, made himself some dinner with the left-overs. My computer started acting up – wouldn’t show Ira’s videos. Sigh. I think we need a new fan – it gets really hot and then slows way down. So, Ira and I spent some time trying to fix it, or figure out what was going on. She majored in computer science, so was able to show me some tricks on how to get it to work faster (YEA!). But, we finally gave up, with her instructing us on where to take it to get the fan replaced.
It was good to hear about her trip. I think I still have a lot of questions for her, but those will come in time. I’m thrilled that she was able to go to Texas this time, which is the closest she’s been to “my culture” in the States. Ok, ok – I hear all my Colorado family and friends screaming at me – Texas culture is close to Colorado culture?? AAAAIIIIIIHHHHH – no way!! The only good Texan is one on his way out of Colorado, etc. etc. and so forth and so on. (Sorry Lisa!) (But I love cowboys – yes, I do! No matter what state they come from!).
Ira and Melinda left – Dave stayed, talking to Mel and me for another hour or more – and then he got out his cribbage board, which he had conveniently brought upstairs. Ha ha! This time, he beat me soundly.
Today I have my Russian lesson, and tomorrow Kolya will be back to start putting color on the bars, so I can have my pretty balcony again. Our neighbor upstairs asked him how long it was going to take before he finished painting – I think they are sick of the smell of this paint, as am I. I hope they will be patient just a couple more days – the next step will go a lot faster. But I will be really glad when it’s finished – the need to have them painted like this has been weighing on me for almost three years!
I am very much an introvert and need my time alone each day. Having someone here from the time I wake up until just a couple hours before we go to bed can be very difficult for me after a couple days. Yet - - it has been so good to have Dave here again, to have Ira home, to have Melinda over and to have the bars painted. Plus, the time Mel and I have spent talking to Kolya has been very good – when we can get him to speak in his simple Russian! He’s from western Ukraine and is very nationalist – the first day he told us we need to learn Ukrainian. When I asked him to speak in Russian because we don’t understand Ukrainian, he replied, “But I am a Ukrainian man!” I understand the sentiments – but oh, it is exhausting to try and cipher out the Russian when it’s all mixed up with Ukrainian.
We are expecting another guest today – our Denis. Denis was born and raised here in Kherson but moved to Canada a few years ago. He was Mel’s first Russian tutor. He came back a few days ago to visit his family and has been over to see us a couple times. Sunday night his girlfriend arrived from Canada and he plans to bring her over so we can meet her as well. I’m looking forward to it. Denis is 30 now and we can see such a change in him, a positive change, as he has grown up and matured.
So, our life has been very busy over the past week. Busy in an interesting way. Lots of visitors, lots of people in and out. A lot of work accomplished. Good food eaten. Laughter. Concerns shared. Life shared.
I enjoy these days.
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