Seeing Double

I had my surgery this morning. I think that all went well. It was quite an experience, all in all. My blood pressure was 162/126 when the nurse first checked it. Is that possible, she asked. I realized my whole arm was stiff and my hand was clenched tight. I told her that and after a few minutes the automatic cuff checked it again and it was much lower. Still too high, but not that high! :) The anesethetist (what are those people called, anyway?) came in and gave me something to relax me and finally my bp went down into the 'normal' range. I went down into the 'la la' range. :) :)

I remember the two doctors working on my eye, I remember a bit of what was said but nothing specific. That's the wonder of drugs for you. I couldn't move my head at all, my eye was 'blocked' and couldn't move, I couldn't feel a thing and I felt 'just fine, thank you.' It's not my favorite thing to do in the world, but it's not the worst experience I've ever had either.

Now - now if I can just get the two eyes to work together...well, that would be wonderful. At the moment, several hours after the surgery, my right eye is looking down and to the right of the left eye, and the view is slanted to the right as well. In other words, instead of a straight across line, it's a pointing down to the right line. And that view is covered in a smear of white as well, like I have vaseline or something on my eye still. I'm sure the smear is due to left over stuff they put on it. I'm hoping that the right down tilt is due to the paralyzing meds they put in the eye and that eventually it will move on up and join with it's compatriot and I won't be seeing double any more. I still don't have 100% vision in the right eye, but I knew that would be the case. It's almost sa if I have a contact in, but the center of everything will always be distorted due to the tear and repair of the macula all those many years ago now.

So, here I sit, more than a bit dizzy from seeing two of everything. I put the eye patch back on and that seems to help. It's a clear plastic shield, with several 'breathing' holes in it, taped to my face with opaque medical tape. I'll put drops in my eyes again tonight and wear the shield to bed each night for a week.

It all makes me feel really tired on top of being slightly dizzy. I'm glad we're staying at the motel again tonight. I can sleep whenever I want.

I have an eye appointment tomorrow and will find out then how everything is going.

I'm still nervous - I hope the double vision and the slanted vision is "normal."

I'll Think About It Tomorrow...

Today is the first day I’ve been able to sit at the table and work at the computer for more than just 3 or 4 minutes at a time. In fact, I sat so long a couple hours ago that when I got up I was in a lot of pain and had to stretch the muscles in my legs and back to ‘get going’ again. Now I am trying to take frequent breaks and get up every few minutes and just walk around a bit. That helps a lot.

I am finishing my 4th day of half dose of the pain killer. Today is the first day that I’ve felt ‘normal’ from the time I got up until now. I’ve had a few of what I call ‘bubbles in time’ where everything seems slightly twisted but they haven’t lasted too long.

I am nervous – the doctor told Mel I should just take one pill today, one tomorrow and one the day after and that’s it. I can’t do that. I am terrified of what will happen.

I started out at 40mg every 12 hours of this stuff and am now on 20mg every 12 hours. I want to take the 20 twice daily until I can go see this doctor myself, at the hospital, on Monday. I am going to demand an Rx for 10mg for 3 days and then 5mg for 3 days. Then, and only then, will I stop taking it altogether.

When the doctor talked to Mel I think he thought I was having pain, not all of these weird withdrawal symptoms. He told Mel to tell me to take the Vicadon if I needed something more on the one 20mg per day schedule. Pain is the least of my concerns. I can handle pain – what I can’t handle is the horror I experienced before. Even thinking about it right now makes me feel sick to my stomach. Enough!

This afternoon Mel took me over to a nearby somewhat flat-ish dirt road so I could go for a walk. I set a goal – a big pine tree a ways down the road. I figured that when I got to the tree I could decide whether I could walk farther or not. It was not. We turned around at the tree and walked back to the car, a walk that was slightly up hill. By the time I got to the car I was done in. Total time of the walk?? Six minutes.

We went to the grocery store afterward and I ended up buying a couple of birthday cards. I quickly found out that standing still on a hard surface like that is not a good idea, especially after taking a walk. My right knee stiffened up something fierce. Actually it’s the tendons and ligaments that stiffened up – the knee can’t do that now. Which ever – it let me know that I’ve got to do something before I can go through passport control in London and then Kiev. I cannot stand that long in one place, shuffling forward inch by inch. Or maybe I’ll have to get some more Vicadon to take at that time!

So, I’m learning a lot. I’m progressing fast, yes, but I still have quite a way to go before I leave in just over two weeks. Oh my.

I’m going to pull a Scarlett O’Hara – I’ll think about it tomorrow.