I Never Know

I never know what I'm going to find when we get back to our flat after someone has stayed here while we're gone.

One year we came back and the top of the washer was cracked. The washer is a front loader and the top has a plastic-rubber type covering on it, I think to make it 'non-slip'. I found out later that it was cracked because the gal staying here had smacked it over and over again with the heating element of the electric tea kettle, "trying to get the ants out". She was concerned that the ants were going to destroy the heating element of a cheap electric tea kettle and in the process ruined the top of a rather expensive washer. I don't think she has ever realized that she is the one who cracked it. Of course, the crack has grown and chipped a bit and is quite ugly, even if it's not all that big. I see it several times every day.

This time I've found at least two things so far. Different person, more damage. Actually, I know at least 6 people were in our flat while we were gone, so it could have been anyone who did it.

The glass door on the top cabinet was broken, up in the corner near the hinge. I did not know this, so when I opened the door to get some spices out, the glass door fell out of the hinge and almost knocked me on the head. Instead of my head, thank God, it hit the counter. Because it landed corner first, now I have a pencil eraser sized gouge in my counter top. At least it wasn't my skull. But, now I'll get to watch a slow disintegration of my counter top. Sigh. We bought them 9 years ago and I've kept the tops undamaged for 9 hears, aside from a knife mark someone else left while we were gone.

Today I was cleaning the stove top again and wondering why it's so hard to clean now. The stove is also 9 years old and I've kept the top totally clean - no marks, no scratches, no burned on food. Well, I finally felt the top with my fingers and found that someone apparently burned some food and tried to scrape it off with a sharp knife. There are several scratch marks in the enamel, some 6 or 8 inches long. Now keeping the top clean is going to be a much harder job. No more simply wiping down splatters and spills - now it's going to entail scrubbing them out when they are stuck in the scratches.

I am flummoxed. Why?

Well, I know why, to an extent.

People don't take care of other peoples' property. I saw this recently with furniture. The furniture was taking a beating and I asked why that was allowed and the comment was "it's not our furniture." This person didn't like the owner of the furniture, so the person didn't care that it was being abused and torn apart. (What a Christian witness to an unbeliever!)

OUCH!

I was taught from very young childhood to respect other peoples' property. I was taught "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I am a firm believer that I need to care for others' things as well or better than I care for my own. It saddens me, but no longer surprises me, to find that other people do not think the same way.

It is a symptom of the society in which we live. All for me - I don't care about you. I am the most important person in the whole world and I really don't care about your well-being, except for how your well-being can make me feel better.

I am so glad God does not think this way! He cares for us and wants for us the very best of the very best. How can we, as Christians, model this to the world? By putting them first, by taking care of their possessions, by showing that we think of them more highly than we do ourselves - by LOVING them.

This is not an easy thing to do.

So, I came home this time to a ruined washer top, ruined counter top, ruined stove top. At least they are all still functional and I don't have to buy anything new right away. I'm just sad that my things (and me) were thought of and treated so poorly.

I am also reminded that things are not important - people are. Therefore, rather than being upset with the unknown person(s) who did the damage, I need to forgive and just go on. Things can be replaced, eventually if needed, but damaged relationships are very difficult to mend.

I Can Hardly Wait!

Mel should be home tomorrow or Sunday, I'm not sure which day yet (he wasn't sure of his train schedule when he left last Saturday). Oh, I can hardly wait!!!

One of the strange things I've noticed - our flat is colder when he is not here. I guess two 98.6's and a little cat and 4 cold blooded fish are warmer and heat more space better than just one 98.6 and cat and fish can. Since the heat is off now, it really does make a difference.

One major thing I relearn each time Mel is gone for more than just over night. I do not do well alone. Oh, I live perfectly fine. I do all the physical acts of living just fine (eat, bathe, shop, talk to people, go about daily life, etc. etc.). Although I am really nervous taking a shower due to the kalunka (see previous post: The Water Saga Continues). Where I do not do well is in the non-physical area. I can't even say exactly what it is - spiritual? emotional? mental? What? I don't know.

When a friend was here the other day we were talking about her love life, or lack there of actually. She commented that I seemed different, like something was wrong. I sat back and did a mental inventory and then said - "Well, I'm only half here - the other half of me is in a different country right now!" She laughed and said she thought that was probably why I seemed different. We continued our very serious discussion.

Most of the evening was spent talking about the relationships between men and women, between her and the guys she knows. I asked her bluntly, "Do you like men?" I was not talking about "sexual preference," I was talking about (and she understood this), do you like the maleness of men? Does their maleness make you feel more like a woman, or does it threaten you? In talking about a specific person, I asked her if she wanted to help him be all the man he can be, build up his 'maleness' rather than tear it down and try to change him, make him more feminine, more 'comfortable' to be around.

The relationship between the sexes will never be easy, but it sure helps if a woman likes her man to be a man, while she likes being a woman.....

During the conversation I commented on my marriage several times. She has watched us for 8 years, very carefully observing how Mel and I relate to each other. I refered again to the fact that I was missing him very much, and I was confident that he was missing me, too. We have been a major part of each other's lives for 34 years - how could we not miss each other? She looked at me, face serious and eyes a bit defiant and angry.

"Would it surprise you if I told you how jealous I am of you right now?" she asked. And then she ducked her head down and looked at the table for a minute while I smiled wryly. She suddenly looked up at me with a look of shock, realizing how I might have taken her words, and said, "Oh! I don't want Mel!! I want my own man who loves me and I love him and..." Yes, I understood exactly what she meant, and no, I was not concerned that she had meant something else.

I don't know what God has in store for this young woman. I pray that my words and encouragement, and the Biblical principles we talked about will have a positive lasting impression on her. I pray that God will take what we discussed, our words and His Word, and help her remember and learn what He wants her to remember and learn.

In the meantime I am learning and relearning what God wants me to know. I give Him praise for what He has given us. I also am reminded that this could all be taken away from me, or from Mel, in an instant. A car accident, a violent act, a bacteria or virus or cancer. What we have is a gift from God, for this time period of our lives. There are no guarantees, there is knowledge that this is, ultimately, not permanent.

So, I am only half here because half of me is in another country right now (hopefully that other half of me is actually on this side of the border headed home!).

Woo hoo! Just as I finished typing that sentence, the phone rang and it was him! He's in L'viv and will be home tomorrow early afternoon. Yea!!!

Oh - I can hardly wait!!!