Sunday Sighings

July 9, 2006

My husband has been in the pastorate one way or another for almost 20 years. Sometime at the very beginning of this time period I realized that Sundays are anything but a day of peace and rest. Oh, for the rest of the church it might be a day of rest, but for the pastor and his family – no. It is often (usually) a very stressful day. Being the pastor of a small church means that there is no staff to stand between you and the congregation before and after the sermon. In other words, you are fair game for anything anyone might want to say before you even get up to preach. There are even jokes about members of the congregation having “roast preacher for lunch” after church. And believe me, the preacher hears about it, sooner or later. I’m not sure why a man ever stays in the pastorate – it is one of the most criticized and thankless professions in the world – it can only be the strength of the Holy Spirit that keeps him going week after week.

I saw it happen not too long ago to our pastor here in Kherson. He got into a “discussion” with someone just a few minutes before the sermon started. This someone had come to him to talk before the service and in the hurry of the moment, he used the wrong words to express what he thought about what he had been told. The person he was talking to got so upset that they actually left rather than stay for the service. He told us afterward that all he could think about during the sermon was that person and what he had said wrong, what he should have said, how he was going to make peace with the person. How could he put it all out of his mind so he could concentrate on the Word of God and feeding God’s people when he had just been in a “discussion” minutes before? My only thoughts were – why did the person come to him before the service had even begun, why did the person leave? I would be shocked - except this is the way Satan works to disrupt, discourage and to try to keep the Gospel message from being preached. Rattle the preacher before he can get up and give a clear message from the scripture. Thank God that He is more powerful than either we or Satan, and often uses us more in our greatest moments of weakness than when we are feeling strong and on top of things.

Today at least it happened after the service, and it happened to me, not the preacher. That is the good part. I understood much of what was preached, had enjoyed everything, felt like I was truly worshipping God today. And afterward, got hit by something that should have been discussed sometime else. Oh, I wasn’t the preacher and my reaction is not immediately detrimental to the health of the church – but I lost something. I lost my pleasure in worshipping God. I lost my enjoyment of being with God’s people on His chosen day. Instead, I was thrust back into everything that is always wrong and nothing that is ever right. As I left, I found myself thinking – why do I even bother going to church at all? I could stay at home and listen to a tape or watch a video of a good preacher – and no one would come up to me afterward with words of complaint about whatever or whoever they needed to complain about.

Why do we do this to each other? Why do we do it to ourselves? I can only believe it is Satan’s way of causing discouragement. It has colored the whole rest of my day and it is difficult to pull myself out of the feelings and attitude I was plunged into. I cannot blame the person who “dumped” on me – I am responsible for my own emotions and feelings. I just wish I was stronger and could just let it roll off my heart and mind. I wish I could be like Scarlett O’Hara and say, “I’ll think about it tomorrow.”

I wish I could say that I have never done it to someone else – but I know that is not true.

I am guilty, too.

Father, forgive me for my bad attitude. Help me to recapture what the Holy Spirit was whispering to me today during the reading and preaching of the Word. Help me to focus on YOU, Father in Heaven, and not on the problems around me.”