I tried to go off the main pain killer they put me on in the hospital. I called a pharmacist and asked how to do it. The advice - cut the dose in half for a few days.
So, since I was taking a long-acting pill, the kind you cannot cut in half, I took the regular dose yesterday morning, planning on taking it again the next morning, today.
Sometime in the middle of the night the hallucinations/bad dreams began. I slept for very short periods of time, keeping Mel awake from at least 3am on. In the morning I was so scared and so out of it mentally that I refused all efforts to get me to take the prescribed dose. I was terrified of it.
Finally Mel called the doctor and talked to his office staff. Come to find out the doctor in the hospital had me on too high of a dose to start with. Grrrrr. Then I find out I was supposed to get a new Rx - at half doses of what I'd been on, taking one in the morning and one 12 hours later. What I ended up doing to myself was going cold turkey. The medication only works for 12 hours and I was planning on 24.
Never, never, never again. Dear God, I pray I never have to go through what I went through earlier today ever again. No details - just figure it was hell on earth for me. I have a much better understanding of what drug addicts go through and I pray never, never again for me.
The first person Mel talked to said I had to take my regular dose NOW. So, holding it in my hand and shouting at the top of my voice at it, "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" I downed it. Within half an hour 95% of the withdrawal symptoms were gone. Mel made out the hide-a-bed for me and I went to sleep. When I woke up a couple hours later, "me" was back.
Meanwhile Mel finally got hold of the doctor in the hospital who put me on this stuff. He said Mel had to go down to the hospital to pick the Rx up - from the doctor's hand to his hand. That's how serious this medication is. Why any one would ever want to take it for recreational use is beyond me. The pain, physical and mental, of going off is not worth it.
So, Mel got the new Rx with instructions on how to go off correctly. I am shakey and slightly weepy tonight, but at least I have my mind and body back. I am scared, very scared of going off now. But I will. I cannot stand the idea of being addicted to it.
Please, please - do not ever get addicted to something. Please, please - do not ever go off something this powerful 'cold turkey.'
I have lost a day of my life - I hope I never ever relive one like it.
Thank you, dear Father in Heaven, for my husband who helped me through this.
2 comments:
Oh dear Columbine, I am so glad you are ok. Once I had a reaction to an herbal depression "remedy" that scared me sooooo bad. I remember crying out to my husband to hide the knives in the house because I was afraid that I would actually do what was running through my head! Oh, I am so thankful to Jesus that He protected you from the medication.
Thank you, Sue. This was one of the most horrible experiences of my life. I still have a feeling of unreality every once in awhile - like I'm in a Stephen King novel or something. I'm ending my first day of lower dose - can feel it, but it's not anything like yesterday, thank God!! I hope to be totally off this stuff within a week. Thank you for your prayers, dear friend!
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