I'll Think About It Tomorrow...

Today is the first day I’ve been able to sit at the table and work at the computer for more than just 3 or 4 minutes at a time. In fact, I sat so long a couple hours ago that when I got up I was in a lot of pain and had to stretch the muscles in my legs and back to ‘get going’ again. Now I am trying to take frequent breaks and get up every few minutes and just walk around a bit. That helps a lot.

I am finishing my 4th day of half dose of the pain killer. Today is the first day that I’ve felt ‘normal’ from the time I got up until now. I’ve had a few of what I call ‘bubbles in time’ where everything seems slightly twisted but they haven’t lasted too long.

I am nervous – the doctor told Mel I should just take one pill today, one tomorrow and one the day after and that’s it. I can’t do that. I am terrified of what will happen.

I started out at 40mg every 12 hours of this stuff and am now on 20mg every 12 hours. I want to take the 20 twice daily until I can go see this doctor myself, at the hospital, on Monday. I am going to demand an Rx for 10mg for 3 days and then 5mg for 3 days. Then, and only then, will I stop taking it altogether.

When the doctor talked to Mel I think he thought I was having pain, not all of these weird withdrawal symptoms. He told Mel to tell me to take the Vicadon if I needed something more on the one 20mg per day schedule. Pain is the least of my concerns. I can handle pain – what I can’t handle is the horror I experienced before. Even thinking about it right now makes me feel sick to my stomach. Enough!

This afternoon Mel took me over to a nearby somewhat flat-ish dirt road so I could go for a walk. I set a goal – a big pine tree a ways down the road. I figured that when I got to the tree I could decide whether I could walk farther or not. It was not. We turned around at the tree and walked back to the car, a walk that was slightly up hill. By the time I got to the car I was done in. Total time of the walk?? Six minutes.

We went to the grocery store afterward and I ended up buying a couple of birthday cards. I quickly found out that standing still on a hard surface like that is not a good idea, especially after taking a walk. My right knee stiffened up something fierce. Actually it’s the tendons and ligaments that stiffened up – the knee can’t do that now. Which ever – it let me know that I’ve got to do something before I can go through passport control in London and then Kiev. I cannot stand that long in one place, shuffling forward inch by inch. Or maybe I’ll have to get some more Vicadon to take at that time!

So, I’m learning a lot. I’m progressing fast, yes, but I still have quite a way to go before I leave in just over two weeks. Oh my.

I’m going to pull a Scarlett O’Hara – I’ll think about it tomorrow.