The Way Things Are

I'm not sure exactly when I came to this conclusion. I think it was sometime in my childhood but maybe in my teens. The conclusion was this:

Nothing is ever going to be perfect, if I expect it to be perfect I will always be disappointed, therefore - do not expect or want things to be perfect. That way disappointment will be at a minimum in my life.

Along with this idea was the idea that I may want something a lot, but I may or may not get it, so - keep your desires and wants to a minimum. Be satisfied with what you have, with what you get.

And, no one is ever perfect except God, so expect that everyone will eventually disappoint me, let me down, hurt me, etc. It is just a fact of human life, ruined by our sinful natures. So, expect to have these things happen, look for the reasons behind it happening and try to love the person in spite of it - or lose them out of your life. I know - not easy to do at all!!

Now, I admit, those three things are not always easy to follow. I have desires, I have wants, I have things in my life that I wish were perfect or at least better than they are.

But...

for the most part I have had a very happy life, in great part because I am willing to be satisfied with my portion in life.

For example: I wish I weighed less. I have tried several things (Optifast, special diets and so forth - I have not tried surgery, nor do I want to try surgery). Many years ago, however, I realized that my body happens to like being at a certain weight and fights me like crazy to get back to that weight when ever I get below it. Most of the people I have known in my life have just attributed my weight to lack of self-control, eating too much, not enough exercise and so forth and so on. It is really nice - no, it is wonderful!!!! to have science finally proving me correct. My body wants to be a specific weight and fights to keep me in that weight range (including hunger, difficulty in losing weight, etc).

Sigh.

:) ha ha! Life is like that!

Now, I could have complained, starved myself (ok, I did that on Optifast - LITERALLY), moaned and groaned and compared myself to every skinny woman I saw on the television or in a magazine.

Instead - I decided that I like to eat, so I will eat. I like to live, so I will live. I like to walk, so I will walk. I like to travel, so I will travel (I like it better in the West than in Eastern Europe, granted...). But - I will LIVE and enjoy it instead of complaining about my body all the time, or this, or that, or them or they, or me or what "God did to me" or how God made me.

Life is a lot simpler that way. It is a lot less frustrating. There is a lot more joy.

I have seen parents who demand so much of their children - the kids have to meet certain requirements, get certain grades, dress this way, weigh no more than that, be involved in this sport or musical instrument, ad infinitum.

The parents are not happy - with the kids or with their own selves.

The children are not happy.

I am always glad when I see parents who love their children the way they are, but also give them chances to improve and grow as individuals. I pray we were successful with our own kids that way.

Many years ago I realized that where I live is much more important to me than how I live. I don't have to live in a perfect house - in fact, I would hate living in a perfect house because I would always be worried about ruining it. I don't mind having to take more time to get some where or do something, if when I am at home I like where I live. I don't mind living in a one-room cabin where I can see daylight through a crack between the ceiling and the wall IF when I look out the window I am looking at spruce trees, blueberries and Alaskan northern lights. I don't mind having to drive 50 miles to buy groceries IF when I go out my door I am looking at a range of mountains, 5 of which are over 14,000 feet in elevation.

This has been hard for me at times here in Ukraine because when I look out my window the view is definitely NOT beautiful. No, definitely not, no matter how hard I try to make it that way. It is hard to find wide open spaces here where I don't feel like people are living in my pockets all the time. I don't want to live next to the market because there are bazillion people there all the time - I don't like to even shop there for that reason. I don't want to live in a house crammed up against another one where there is no privacy at all in the yard. (Instead I live in a flat where no one can look in our windows and I can keep them un=curtained to let the sun shine in.) I do have backyards I can look at where flowers grow and I don't see too many people - that is so very nice. So I have had to find the "where I live" in the adventure of living cross-culturally rather than in the beauty of the place.

This is still hard for me, especially when I have been around a lot of people for several hours or days at a time.

So, for me, it is the quality of my life, defined much differently than many people define their own lives, that is important to me. I will gladly do without conveniences that other people want or need (faster transportation, stores next door, having a small flat instead of a big one, needing more travel time, whatever) IF my day to day living area meets my basic life and personality needs.

That's the way things are.

For all of us. We are the way God made us.

I am SO GLAD not every one is like me! If they were, what I love would be destroyed.

I'll never forget this conversation:

Woman at the counter in the library: "I wish there was a Wal-Mart here. Why do we have to drive so far away to get to one? Why can't they build one here?" She was from California.

Me, standing behind the counter and listening to her go on and on about it: "Well, people like me like it here just like it is right now. Where are we going to go when you bring in Wal-mart and ruin it for us?"

Woman: stands with mouth open in shock. How could ANYONE like living out here in the middle of nowhere where they don't even have the decency to have a stoplight in town or a Wal-mart within 50 miles? She couldn't figure that out. Unfortunately - last time we went back there - her breed of people were winning - and ruining it for those who love areas like that, areas just like God made them originally.

So, I grieved. I grieved as if someone I loved had died. And then I came to the realization that - this is the way things are. No place will ever be perfect. What I love and enjoy will always be ruined in some way or another, nothing will stay the same, everything degrades and falls apart, or is ruined in a housing development, etc.

Therefore! Therefore - count it all loss. Everything on this earth. People, places, things.

There is only one constant in the world, in the universe.

Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Our God never changes, never degrades, never disappoints.

And therefore - I can be happy, satisfied, filled with joy.

It is amazing really, the way this works.

I love my life.

PS - I like shopping at Wal-mart, this is not a slam against Wal-mart. I just like Wal-mart "there", not "here." :) :)