Anger

Well, I've seen the regular doctor (GP) and my knee doctor and the eye doctor and today the dentist. Whew. Packing it all into just a few weeks is not fun. Most people can do these visits over the course of a year, but we pack them into 3 or 4 weeks. :)

Mel and I went for dinner after our visit to the dentist. There were just a few people in the restaurant. We sat down near a booth where an older guy was sitting, talking to a woman a few years younger than he. A family came in soon after and sat down and 3 tables that had been pushed together. They were talking kind of loud and there was a small child with them who decided to yell about something. It got loud.

Suddenly the older guy near us just bellowed out: "Do we really have to have this?!?" Mel and I had been talking about a book he's reading and we stopped in mid-sentence and just looked at each other in surprise. The family stopped and their conversation sputtered along for a bit - but the kid shut up. Mel and I just shook our heads and started talking again.

Mel brought it back up as we were driving back up Ute Pass. I had been thinking about it a lot as well.

Why? you ask. Well, I'll tell you!

When we left London to fly to Denver just a couple weeks ago now, I had reserved emergency exit seats for both of us for the 9 hour flight across the Atlantic. When we got on the plane our section was less than half full, but there was a young family with a 2 year old little girl seated next to me and across the aisle. Much against my wishes, the flight attendent wanted us to move and let the husband and wife sit together and give Mel's leg room to the little girl so she could move around.

I understood her reasoning, but I had chosen those seats specifically so Mel would have leg room. Well, we finally agreed to move about 4 rows back where there was no one sitting. Mel buckeled in beside the window and I buckled in beside the aisle and we had an empty seat between us. Mel started reading and I started wondering what the heck I was going to do for nine hours with a little toddler sitting behind me, kicking my seat (so THAT is why the person originally sitting there moved to the center seats!) and reaching through between seats and tickling my ribs and making all sorts of noise. I sighed and thought to myself that if it continued for very long, I'd talk to the mother and ask her to make her little kid stop. Fortunately, within 5 minutes of taking off that little one, plus the older brother (about 3) were sound asleep.

About an hour later - maybe a bit more because we had already eaten and Mel had already gotten up to go to the toilet and give himself his insulin shot - the guy sitting in front of Mel turned around and started yelling at Mel to stop kicking his seat! Mel sat there in shock. I sat there with my mouth wide open staring at him. The guy turned around and I just said loudly, "What a grump!"

And then I got mad. I mean - I got furious. I have not been that angry in a very, very long time. I stood up and looked around for the attendent who had moved us. She was nowhere to be seen. Mel took one look at me and he knew. I was on the verge of losing it. "Calm down, sit down, it's ok." "It is NOT ok!! You did not ask to sit there! We had other seats and you were moved there. That guy is a jerk! You can't sit totally still for the next 8 hours!" I was steaming - burning - furious. I looked at the two little kids behind me and thought about how I did NOT turn around and yell at their mother when I was getting kicked and pushed and tickled by little fingers pushing their way between the seats.

Finally I realized that the attendent was never going to show up. Mel was still trying to get me to sit down and I was getting angrier and angrier at the whole situation. We had seats where Mel had plenty of leg room and we were moved and that guy was a whole list of bad names I will not repeat here.

I walked into the back section of the plane and asked the guy there where the blonde attendent was. He asked me if I meant Tracy and I said no, and he asked if I meant Debbie and I said, "Yes!" He saw how upset I was and went to get her immediately. She came out of business class and there we stood, beside an emergency exit at the rear of the plane, the three of us - the woman attendent, the man attendent and me. I promptly burst into tears - I was so angry at that point I could hardly speak. They got the story out of me - I emphasised that Mel has to move his legs - he's diabetic. They already knew that because he'd had a diabetic meal. She also knew how tall he is because she'd walked us to our 'new seats' and made sure we were comfortable. I was sputtering and crying and grinding my teeth and was totally embarrassed at myself, but angrier than embarrassed.

She said, "Come with me, I'll move you into business class and this man will talk the the guy who yelled at your husband." So, Debbie took us up to an empty row in business class and settled us there. Mel sat beside the aisle, I sat in the middle with a seat between us. I sat there with a napkin held up to my eyes, crying. Crying because I was still angry and I was still embarrassed and I still wanted to go back and give the guy a black eye. I am not kidding - that man was a jerk, a first class jerk. He was not nice, he did not say, "Pardon me, you keep bumping my seat, could you be more careful?" or anything like that. He raised himself up, looked over the seat and just blasted Mel, yelling as loud as he could to stop the damn kicking his seat! etc. A bit later the male attendent came by, leaned over and asked me if I was ok and to please don't let it ruin our trip.

You know, even now I am still pissed off at the guy who yelled at Mel, I'm still upset that Debbie moved us in the first place - I worked hard to make sure we got the original seats!

And tonight we listened to the guy near us do something similar, but more mild, to a family just out having a fun meal together.

The world is angry.
People are angry.
Anger fills the air.
Anger permeates situations all around us.
No longer is it just 'road rage' - it is 'airplane rage' and 'going out to eat rage' and 'you are getting in my way in the store rage' and so forth and so on.

I have a lot of ideas as to why this is, but mostly they all boil down to - we are living in the Last Days and Christ is returning soon. The world, the whole world is angry.

And it is frightening to find some of that anger inside of my own self.