Perfection - or Not

As I mentioned in a previous post, I was working on this new scarf last night. When I sat down to work on it, I noticed a mistake about an inch back from where I was at. Oh well, no problem, I said to myself. It's one little mistake and I don't really want to go back that far and fix it. So I continued working on it for about 20 more minutes. But every time I looked at what I'd done, all I could see was this huge glaring mistake I'd made the night before. I finally got up and quit and came in here and read some more news on the internet. Before we went to bed I complained to Mel about this huge glaring mistake I'd made and that I was going to have to go back, now much farther, and fix it in the morning. He told me I was crazy, that he couldn't see it and neither would anyone else. (Well, he didn't actually say I was "crazy", but I got the idea. haha!) I took some photos of the new scarf on the loom and then I went to bed.

This morning I looked at the scarf and I had to really look to find that huge glaring mistake. :-) But now that I see it, I SEE it. I started working back, took out 4 rows, 2 of white and 2 of red. And I thought to myself, what am I doing?? I came in here, downloaded the photos and started looking for that mistake. Oh, it's there all right, but I had to really look for it to find it. Now, that's all I see when I look at the photos. Now I already knew this about myself. It's ok for other people to do imperfect work - but I demand perfection from myself.

I'm sure a lot of people would laugh to hear this. I am not known for my perfect housekeeping (just ask my mother, she'll tell you what a slob I've always been). I'm not known for my perfect way of dressing. I'm not known for being a perfectionist about anything - unless you look in my linen closet (or what serves as a linen closet here in Ukraine) and you will find that all of my towels and washclothes are stacked up perfectly. You could place a ruler in front of them and they'd be folded "at attention" perfect.

I wonder why the rest of my life is not like that...
Well, I know why, really. It takes too much effort to be perfect at everything and I'd rather be living life than perfecting it. Nothing ever stays perfect. I take a towel, or Mel takes a towel, and depending on who takes it, I have to go back in there and straighten it all back up to make it perfect again (don't think I'm talking about Mel! haha!). It will only stay perfect until it's used. The same with this scarf. I can go back and perfect that huge glaring mistake, or I can say to myself, "self, how long did it take you to find that huge glaring mistake after sleeping a few hours? who else is going to go searching for it? what is this scarf going to look like after a few wearings anyway, especially if it ends up on a street kid, street person (not that they don't deserve the best I can offer, I just know how filthy it will be in a matter of a couple hours)?"

So, I'll stop writing this post and go back to the table, sit down, and reweave the 4 rows I took out and go on from there. However! Next time I see a mistake just an inch or so back, I'll fix it immediately!!

I am so glad God is not like this with me!!
Yes, I must be holy as He is holy - but He knew/knows that I cannot be that way on my own and sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to pay the penalty for my unholiness, my teeny and huge sin. He looks at His Son's holiness, applied to me, and He loves me. He doesn't see my imperfection, He sees His Son's perfection instead.

I am so thankful for that!