Who Would I Have Been?

Sometimes I wonder what I would have been like if I'd been born 100, 200 or more years ago. I just skimmed through an article on the influences of nuture and nature on kids, and how it plays out in determining their intelligence. And it made me wonder - if I'd been born 100 years ago - would I still have had my basic personality?

I know that I have an unusual personality. "The ISTP personality type is much more common among men than women. Among men, it is the third most common type in the population. Among women, it is the fourth rarest. ISTPs make up:

■8% of the general population
■9% of men
■2% of women"

Hmmm - makes me wonder what the other "rare" female personality types are. I'll look that up later. :-)

I've often thought that if I'd been raised in a different home, where I'd been given more freedom to be and do whatever I wanted to do, instead of following the rules, that today I'd be much more involved in more adventurous and/or dangerous things. Instead, I tend to "get my kicks" from reading about it.

I've also thought that if I had had normal eyesight as a child, I would have been more involved in sports and other activities. My parents didn't discover that I was almost blind until I was in 2nd grade. I'd been moved to the very front row of the classroom and I still couldn't see the blackboard. That's when the school recommended that I have my eyes checked. Everything I remember from my young childhood is kind of "foggy" and very limited to what was directly around me, and everything else is just gray. I wonder if that is part of the reason I do not like gray days like yesterday and today? I want to be able to see, and to see clearly, which is rather interesting since I no longer see clearly in either eye at all - sometimes I have to look around things instead of directly at them to see them (I have a lot of floaters, sigh) and only things in bright light are ever completely in focus - which when I think about it, makes me depressed, so I'm not going to think about it. Makes for interesting cross stitching, tho. Where do I insert the needle? What in the world did I do THAT for last night? HOW did I do that??? HA HA!

Even after I got my glasses and could see, for the first time ever, leaves on a tree and Pikes Peak in the distance, I still had a hard time telling how far away and how fast a ball was coming at me. I hated playing baseball especially. I excelled in things like reading, holding the book up to my nose of course!, and embroidery, again holding the hoop and needle up to my nose so I could see what I was doing even after I had glasses (glasses were also good for keeping the needle out of my eye as I pulled the thread up), sitting in a stuffed chair sideways, legs dangling over the arm, for hours on end if I didn't get chased outside "to play". Outside I loved spending what seemed like hours, examining the insides of flower blossoms, the world between grass blades, the activity of the bugs there, and the way sunlight cast shadows around me (I discovered that grasshoppers have the most amazingly beautiful wings when you gently spread them out to look at them, and they can kick really hard, too).

If I'd have been born 100 years earlier, I probably wouldn't have had bad eyesight (they gave me oxygen at birth which caused severe myopia) - I might have been dead instead, since I was born breech. :-) But if I'd survived and not been mentally handicapped by the difficult birth and my mother had survived it, I most likely would have had perfect eyesight like my siblings and then... would I have had the same personality? Or maybe I'd have had the same personality, just expressed it differently?

That is a lot of if's and maybe's and possibly's. haha

I realized at dinner with my team mates on Monday night, that I can talk about volcanoes and earthquakes till the cows come home. I actually apologized, but they assured me it was all quite interesting. oh. my. gosh. (inner hysterical laughter) And usually I can converse on just about every subject brought up - because I read so widely and all the time. And sometimes I just get disgusted with myself and wish I'd listen more and talk less.

Oh well.

But if I'd been born 100 years ago - would I still have been this way? Would I be fascinated with the stars? Interested in how the lye and fat change to make soap in my cauldron over the fire, watching in fascination as I stirred it round and round? Would I love the feel of the wool running through my fingers as I spun yarn or thread, rejoiced in the feel and visual impact of the cloth as I wove it? Been interested in what different recipes I could make out of hunk of meat, and handful or wheat or corn and a mess of greens? Would I have watched the stars at night and the cloud formations by day - and marveled at what God had made?

Or would I have been too exhausted to care? Too overwhelmed, under nourished, burdened by the work that never ended? Would I have been me then, or a totally unrecognizable person?

Of course, I'll never have an answer to that question, and in a way I wonder why I find it interesting at all - but I do. I am a product of the times in which we live - and yet, I am me genetically and no one can change that.

Something else to ponder. Think I'll go work on the blanket I'm cross stitching and listen to another sermon on the book of Hebrews (we're in Hebrews 11 - one of my favorite chapters - I love all the stories of people told there).

Bye for now.