I Can Hardly Wait!

Mel should be home tomorrow or Sunday, I'm not sure which day yet (he wasn't sure of his train schedule when he left last Saturday). Oh, I can hardly wait!!!

One of the strange things I've noticed - our flat is colder when he is not here. I guess two 98.6's and a little cat and 4 cold blooded fish are warmer and heat more space better than just one 98.6 and cat and fish can. Since the heat is off now, it really does make a difference.

One major thing I relearn each time Mel is gone for more than just over night. I do not do well alone. Oh, I live perfectly fine. I do all the physical acts of living just fine (eat, bathe, shop, talk to people, go about daily life, etc. etc.). Although I am really nervous taking a shower due to the kalunka (see previous post: The Water Saga Continues). Where I do not do well is in the non-physical area. I can't even say exactly what it is - spiritual? emotional? mental? What? I don't know.

When a friend was here the other day we were talking about her love life, or lack there of actually. She commented that I seemed different, like something was wrong. I sat back and did a mental inventory and then said - "Well, I'm only half here - the other half of me is in a different country right now!" She laughed and said she thought that was probably why I seemed different. We continued our very serious discussion.

Most of the evening was spent talking about the relationships between men and women, between her and the guys she knows. I asked her bluntly, "Do you like men?" I was not talking about "sexual preference," I was talking about (and she understood this), do you like the maleness of men? Does their maleness make you feel more like a woman, or does it threaten you? In talking about a specific person, I asked her if she wanted to help him be all the man he can be, build up his 'maleness' rather than tear it down and try to change him, make him more feminine, more 'comfortable' to be around.

The relationship between the sexes will never be easy, but it sure helps if a woman likes her man to be a man, while she likes being a woman.....

During the conversation I commented on my marriage several times. She has watched us for 8 years, very carefully observing how Mel and I relate to each other. I refered again to the fact that I was missing him very much, and I was confident that he was missing me, too. We have been a major part of each other's lives for 34 years - how could we not miss each other? She looked at me, face serious and eyes a bit defiant and angry.

"Would it surprise you if I told you how jealous I am of you right now?" she asked. And then she ducked her head down and looked at the table for a minute while I smiled wryly. She suddenly looked up at me with a look of shock, realizing how I might have taken her words, and said, "Oh! I don't want Mel!! I want my own man who loves me and I love him and..." Yes, I understood exactly what she meant, and no, I was not concerned that she had meant something else.

I don't know what God has in store for this young woman. I pray that my words and encouragement, and the Biblical principles we talked about will have a positive lasting impression on her. I pray that God will take what we discussed, our words and His Word, and help her remember and learn what He wants her to remember and learn.

In the meantime I am learning and relearning what God wants me to know. I give Him praise for what He has given us. I also am reminded that this could all be taken away from me, or from Mel, in an instant. A car accident, a violent act, a bacteria or virus or cancer. What we have is a gift from God, for this time period of our lives. There are no guarantees, there is knowledge that this is, ultimately, not permanent.

So, I am only half here because half of me is in another country right now (hopefully that other half of me is actually on this side of the border headed home!).

Woo hoo! Just as I finished typing that sentence, the phone rang and it was him! He's in L'viv and will be home tomorrow early afternoon. Yea!!!

Oh - I can hardly wait!!!