Photos from Alaska

Yesterday morning my sister-in-law, Renee, posted almost 200 photos of their trip to Chitina, Alaska, to go dip-netting last week. I copied several of them - they are mostly photos of 3 of their girls (and 1 boyfriend!) and of 1 son. Since they live in Alaska, and we lived in Colorado most of our married life - we've only met all the kids twice. Two times! (We'll I met the 4 oldest kids 3 times, all the rest only twice.) Mark, Robbyn, Rebecca, Rachelle, Reuben In the past 30 years, Mel and I have only seen his twin brother 2 times. That is what happens when you live almost 4000 miles apart. Mel and I went down to this area before we were married. It's funny, when I look at the photos I don't recognize it at all - but it sure is pretty!
I have stood somewhere near this bridge, too, it it's the bridge I think it is. :) If so, I think we spent most of the time on the other side of the river. It was break-up and the river was full of huge chunks of ice, some bigger than a house, grinding against each other as they made their way south toward the Gulf of Alaska. We watched a bear swim across the river, around those chunks of ice, from one side to the other. It climbed the bank somewhere below us (which is why I think we were on the other side of the river from the above photo), climbed the hill to the road and came out just a few yards down the road for us. Mel had a flat tire on his truck after we got there, and he and a couple other guys with us had just finished changing it. I'm don't remember - maybe one of those guys was Ralph? Way too many years ago! Where has time flown away to? Renee apparently didn't see a bear this trip, but a moose! Renee, Rebecca, Ralph Reuben Rachelle Robbyn and Mark Rebecca (This is not the whole family. :) :) )

These photos make me feel very, well, I'm not sure how to describe it actually. Sad. Nostalgic. Quiet.

There have been many dreams in my life, many wishes of what I want(ed) to do, where I wanted to go, what I wanted to see and experience. But the most overpowering dream I had was to go to Alaska and to 'be' an Alaskan. I don't know how else to describe it! I went to Alaska, I lived there for a couple of short periods of time, I got married there, I had two of my 3 children there - and then we left. I mourned when we left Alaska, a deep mourning that lastest for several years. Even now when I think of those times the sadness comes back full force.

Yet - I am so thankful that we did move back to Colorado, that we did raise our children in Colorado, that our life has unfolded as it has. I have traveled to many places, seen many very interesting things both natural and man-made that I would never have seen if I'd stayed in Alaska. I have lived in a foreign culture. I have met so many interesting people, both Americans and 'foreigners'. I love the way my life has turned out thus far.

But something inside of me is still drawn north. To Alaska. To dreams I had when I was young. To the possibilities within those dreams. Alaska.

**Tears**